The World's Greatest Athlete
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(music) I don't remember that at all! (laughing) Oh, Quicksand! Call back! Oh my god! (laughing) This is the funny of the nightboard, at least. And it's true. I'm laughing more than this little than you says I. There are going to be boobies in this one. I don't think we're going to see boobies. I don't think we're going to see boobies. I don't think we're going to see boobies. We know child sacrifice, aren't we?
I don't think we're going to see the sacrifice. But you take it like you say it. Yeah, you take it like you say it. It's not as culturally insensitive as not your teacher. We're going to be pon. (laughing) It's a good drive in there, too. Yeah, really. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! (laughing) Make sure that's in the intro. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to "Does It Hold Up?" The podcast dedicated to potentially ruining your childhood and all of your fond memories that happened
before mom and dad got divorced. Yes, we're back again. (laughing) I actually like that opening. That was, I mean, really. I just pulled that out of my hands. I know, I know. That's why it's so funny. You were standing there when I did it. (laughing) So this week, I've done no research. Well, who are you? Oh, I'm a man. Sorry. And I'm Brock. I'm Brad. And... I've done no research. No, no, no notes. No notes.
No notes. No, no breaks. I don't have a Brad fact. Oh, geez. I guess I had to do all of the heavy lifting this week. All right. How did you pick the movie, so? Yeah, so this week was interesting. Brad had a good idea. We decided to do a movie that he and I remember watching when we were younger. We remember, I mean, I remember it fondly, but it's a 1973 Walt Disney movie, Walt Disney Company movie called the world's greatest athlete.
And, you know, 70s movies when you got a white guy coming out of the jungle. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Let's not get paid. No, but my point is, is that we went into this without a lot of hope. Right. Yeah, you're right. We definitely, yeah. Remembering what it was as Jan, starring Jan Michael Vincent as Nanu, the white guy from the other great white hope from Africa. And John Amos as, uh, as coach Archer, uh,
with his assistant coach, uh, Milo. You know, Tim is played by Tim Conway. Yeah, I really expected this to be cringe worthy racism that was for this. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, things that would fly in the 70s that wouldn't fly now. And, you know, we're going to get into it, but. And I have never seen this movie. Good point. Okay. Have you heard of this movie? No. So even when you like Googled it and went. I was like, what is this? Okay.
Okay. So this was on like, I don't know, Brock, we had Disney channel. I think it might have been on there, but this is, this is something that would have shown at seven o'clock on ABC on a Sunday night and the, uh, wonderful world of Disney. But, but I also remember seeing it. Like a lot. I mean, this isn't, yeah, I mean, it didn't. I mean, it's not. It's not. It's not. I don't know if we had it on tape. I don't think we did though. I don't. I mean, it must have made the rounds on some channel that we had as kids. Cause I mean, we saw it a good bit.
I didn't see it just once or twice. Well, if you remember, we had this, we had. Back when Disney was a paid channel, we used to have HBO and Disney. I don't know if you remember that, like when we first moved. Wow. Do you know that old? Yeah. Well, it is that old. It used to be a pay. It was, it was like Showtime or Cinemax. And we had HBO and Disney channel. And then we finally decided we didn't like this. We got older. We decided we didn't like Disney channel more. So we got mom. We convinced mom to get show time. So, but that was. Yeah. So I remember. Yeah.
But we only had cinemax on the, I don't remember having it on the free preview weekends and we'd stay up late and watch a little just a little cinemax. Yeah. I know we didn't have the Disney channel. So that may be where y'all watched it over and over again. Yeah, I wish I could remember. Yeah, it was. It was definitely on. And I think we've met have watched it at our cousins who were only allowed to watch Disney movies when we were brought up on one, the one side of family. So I think we might have seen it out there as well a couple of
times. Yeah, it happened. Anybody happen to look up other movies that came out from Disney around the same time? Because that was something I was curious about. I do not. This is. I mean, Mary Poppins. I don't think is a good comparison because Mary Poppins was like the sixties and like the heyday. Right. Live action movie. I mean, you don't count today, but. There's a bunch that are like this. Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen this. Just live action. I've seen. Oh, there you go. Yeah.
Okay. That was the same time. That's 70s. Okay. That was early seventies. Let me see. Yeah, hold on a second. All right. We've got the aristocrats came out. Well, we don't. That's a full, that's a full animation. Yeah. One of the grislies. No, I don't. That doesn't breathe. 1971. That feels so much older. It's like a million dollar duck. There for the executive. This feels no, this feels like Herbie, the love book.
It's that. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. It's just can't be fun. That's all it was. Right. And it was actually, I did look it up. You guys probably noticed this at some point. It was rated G. Which I don't even think. I mean, got her Pixar movies even rated. No, I think they're not. Yeah. I think they're all pizza. Yeah. As I, as I rewatched it today, I believe in the very end, John. It was shit, but it just, it's like under his breath.
So really? Yeah. And I was like, cause it took me, I'm watching. I was like, wait, did he just say, I'm pretty sure he does. And I was like, at the very, at the very end, what he's, well, I don't. Okay. I'll, I'll put it in. Oh, I'll mention it at that point, but it's the very, very. So the apple dumpling. That was actually one I thought of, but I couldn't remember when. That movie came out. I don't remember that. We're good. We've, we've, we've, which mountain. Yeah. Those are all. Yeah. It's just, it's 70s Disney. So anyway, Gus, that's the kicking donkey.
I remember that. All right. So you don't remember Gus with Don Knots and the kicking donkey. I've never seen it. Oh, yes. Yeah. I don't know if I've ever seen it, but I know what it's about. Okay. So, um, yeah. So we're going to, we're going to go ahead and start off describing this, uh, this surprisingly fun movie. Should we just give a, yeah, just give like a big brief synopsis of what the movie is, or then we can like really dive into what happens. Or want me to do that.
Or do you want me to go to the crappy resource for the last few episodes that is Wikipedia and I can just start reading what it says. And you can interject when you have more information for us. I'm happy to read this plot summary. Yeah, read that plot summary. Let's see what it is. So Sam Archer and his assistant Milo Jackson are coaches at Mary Vale College. They have lost every game and every sport, which they have coached, raising the concerns of the head of the alumni association.
With only one year left on his contract, Archer decides that he needs a vacation. Together, Archer and Milo head to Zambia in Southern Africa. We'll be back in a few minutes. While out on Safari, the pair catch site of. With their guide more Roomba. Of the target like Nanu. And we'll say Nanu. Nanu who can outrun a cheetah in full-bound. Yeah. Seeing this, the coaching staff quickly whip out their recruitment pen
and papers, but soon fall. Literally into the clutches of. Yeah. Because Nanu is an orphan and an innocent child of the bush. Gazenga believes that throwing Nanu into the world of competitive United States college athletics would interfere with the spiritual development. That's okay. Wait. All right. I'm going to. That's total fucking horse. All right. We're done with it. Let's just. Okay. I think there's only two more photographs.
All right. All right. That's so good. The ambitious coaches persuade Nanu to join the three bell college program. From this point forward, the plot is driven by a combination of slapstick and suspense for Nanu's destiny. As the world's greatest athlete will annoy several powerful people who are used to getting their way. Now news innocence. Archer scheming. Jackson's ineptitude. Gazenga's outraged wisdom. And the Machiavellian plotting of the villains. I'll play roles in the action as the film head towards the final
track meets. Somebody wrote this for college papers. There's no Machiavellian theme. I know. Okay. But I'm almost done. The atmosphere of American competition does indeed threaten Nanu. But he is saved from disintegration by love interest Jane Douglas. Jane and Nanu's budding relationship angers poor Leopold Maxwell who attempts to sabotage the budding star. Build. Who's attempts. Okay. Sorry. Who's attempts to sabotage the budding star build towards a
crescendo as the ultimate competition approaches. The climactic track meet is peppered with commentary by ABC TV Sportscaster Howard Cosell playing himself. The film ends with a framing device in which the hapless coaches are depicted trying to recruit a new athletic phenomenon this time. They ruined it there. We should have cut that point. That's a big shopper. Thank you for listening everybody. Don't forget to.
Yeah. I can pick out a couple of problems with this plot. Yeah. That's whole Porsche. Yeah. If I read that, I would be like this now. I mean, there's plotting, but I wouldn't call it Machiavellian. So, I mean, basically, the gist of the story is, is that. The coach Sam Archer is a horrible coach. And they can't win any sport. Apparently he works. He works at a small college where he is the head coach of every sport possible. Yeah. And they suck at every sport.
They even suck at marching band, which we'll get into in a minute. And they decide. He decides to just get away. He can't take it anymore. And he decides to go back to his roots, his words in the movie. Which is kind of ironic because he ends up playing in roots. The movie later, but. After this. Yeah. So he, they go to Africa and then it's this. Yeah, they see that new out. Run the cheetah and then they try to convince them to come back and they trick him to coming back to the US. And then he is, he helps them, you know, then they try to get him to play
every sport possible. So that's, that's the gist of the story, really. There's no. Yeah, there's some. Leopold, who is the Dean's son is mad because then he was dating his dating his ex girlfriend. But so he tries to get him to go back to Africa. That's the main. Like protagonist, I guess. Yeah. I thought he stole his girlfriend. Well, still, whatever. Yeah. Well, I don't know. They don't really, they don't really establish them as a couple until it's like a throwaway line.
Yeah, it used to be a couple because it sounds like the guy was his name again Maxwell. Yeah. Leopold. Leopold. Leopold. Yeah. My girlfriend. But then I think it's more like maybe they used to be a thing or they already wanted them to be a thing. Yeah. I never got there. I don't think they're a thing anymore. All right. So. 22 and a half million dollars. Seventies. There's not much entertainment. I mean, wow. Okay. Yeah.
All right. So let's just start like so. The 50 starts out and you right away in the cold open, you understand what you're going to get out of this movie because the cold opening, which is this, you know, the scene before the credits and all it. You see it starts out. It opens up with football. The Maryville football team is on is on the field playing. I don't even know. Whatever for the other team. And they throw quarterback drops back and throws up a pass in the end zone. And the player bats it up in the air and then hits the goal post.
The other player picks it and runs it back for six points. And while the other players run it back, the coach, the assistant coach Milo is cheering. And then. Archer, the head coach has to tell him he's the other team. Yeah. And that's, that's the beginning of that's like sets the whole stage for what this movie is going to be. And. Right. Yeah. And then, so then, and then it cuts them at halftime and coach Archer's given the speech about football is my life.
And he does the whole and he's like, go out there and get him. And then they run into the shower. Instead of running out. Until you think like in every one. Yeah. Sorry. So there's that one. Attracting the best and brightest. Exactly. And then the next one, they do baseball and the baseball players, the one baseball player tags the third and slides and only gets halfway to home and he gets tagged out. And then it's the same thing where he's like, baseball is my life. Yeah, he does that. And then they do basketball and the best. The guy goes up for a layup and gets caught in the net.
Like this is the antics we are going to expect to this whole movie. This is what we're going to get. And it's actually, you know, it's. I laughed out loud several times. Yeah, it's predictable. It's predictable, but it's still, it's still funny. It was not like, yeah, it wasn't. And being like 10 feet short of home plate. That got me. I have to admit. I thought that was funny. Well, I mean, Brad pointed out while we were watching it, we laughed more at this than at all three episodes of Night Court. Right. This. Definitely. It's telling though.
Right. It wasn't that bad. Yeah, it wasn't. Right. So then, so then that's the, and then the credits start. And then during the credits, they continue with the montage of how bad they are sports. And I'm a spoiler montage is the key to this movie. This movie is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They don't even try to get out of the bus. They just finished. Good out of the ship. Totally. Yeah. They keep running yourself. They totally kept in Smith it and like go down with the ship. Yeah. So there's that. And then they, then they switch over. What was the next one? They switched over to, oh, it's a diving scene. Where the, you know, it's a high dive. And he jumps off and he hits the board and his,
and his bathing suit comes off. Yeah. And then the, and then the, all the judges are covered. Right. Covering their eyes. So they can't see that. Yeah. Yeah. The tennis was pretty funny when he, we all called it before it even had. We did call it. Yeah. And he serves it into the back of the other guy's head. Yeah. All these, all these sports that this college is absolutely. And then the, and then the opening credits end with the marching band, which had started actually go to finish up their little March and they run into
another and everybody falls down. Right. So we've set the stage. This is a horrible college full of dumb people. Just right. And everything is like the coach sport. Yeah. Yeah. You get this idea that like it's, you know, it's, it's just maybe the coach just isn't good. Maybe this coach needs to not be a coach. But then these, these students also like common sense and direct. And. It's like a division five school. Right. And. So then they cut, they cut to the first scene, which is another football scene,
which is, I did laugh at loud about this. The, the, the. Marival football team has the ball and they're running a reverse. And when they go to run the reverse, uh, they go to pitch it back to the, for the reverse to, for the player, run the reverse and he pitches it to the other team, other team. And then he runs into the guy. He runs right into the guys. Which I did laugh at, which again, it's, but this is, you know, this is the antics of the movie. And then again. Over the top. Right. Yeah. Again, coach.
The assistant coach Milo Jackson, he is excited. And then he has to be told again by coach Archer. That's the other team kind of thing. And then they touched the ball. And it works. Yeah. He's always great. I will do that. Even though even though most of the gags in this, you can kind of, you're like, I know exactly where this is going. Tim Conway makes a lot of them funny. Yeah, he does. He's good. Yeah, he's great. John Amos is good as a straight man too. I think he's great. Yeah.
And, and Tim Michael Vincent, who plays nano. He's good at what they gave him for his horrible lines. I think he plays. He doesn't, you know, and he could run. He looks, he looks good running, which they show a lot of him running. He's not so awkward. Like, you know, thanks. I think he decided to do this movie because he played like a killer and one, the one before this and then something like an insane person in the other movie. And he liked doing this because it was a spoof. He's like, you know, exactly what it's going to be. There's no hidden agenda. It's just a fun, feel good movie.
He wanted to do something lighthearted. Yeah. And he said we all had fun doing it. Yeah. There's your Brad fact. All right. There we go. I like it. I've got a Brad fact later about the actress who played Jane. So I think it's pretty good. Was that a man of fact? Well, no, it's a Brad Brad Brad fact, I guess. Brad Brad Brad Brad Brad. Yeah. So then, so the football game ends, they lose blah, blah, blah. And then the dean or the alumni associate. I don't know what he was, to be honest.
He comes over. He has to be the dean. I think he's both. Yeah, but he technically, technically you should be the athletic director. If it was whatever. He's yeah, he is coach archer's boss. And he's like, I don't know why he's like, you haven't done anything. But what anything? I think it's, I think you need to like, you know, I'm not sure we're going to, you got a year left in your contract and he decides, you know, screw it, you need. So it's actually he's going to quit. And anyway, so then they end up leaving, I guess, right? They go to Africa.
Yeah. He needs to go clear his head and go back to his room. It's in these segues and they're in Africa and you're like, they're in Africa. They're also far. And it's, and they're thinking like, okay, what the heck, but they explain it. Go ahead. Right. Yeah. So then they're, they go to Africa and he's like, I want to get back to my roots and, and Tim, I was like, I thought you're from Cincinnati. He's like, no, no, I'm a great grandfather roots, which I, yeah, I thought it was like, they explain it. They're like, and, and I think the Africa scene is supposed to be stupid and campy. Cause it's obviously all, it's all green.
Yeah, it's all green screen. Well, whatever the precursor of green screen was, because it's, it's basically them in front of a big screen. And it's just film play in the background. Right. I don't, I can't remember what that is. Actually Disney's park. Right. Yeah. Oh, really? They're, they're park in California. I've never been. They have a safari park. Maybe they are. Certainly not Disney. Okay. Well, maybe, yeah, but it's like, at one point, they're looking at also and there's like 20 lines right on top of them.
Then next, you know, it's giraffes. Next, you know, there's hippos in the river. Like, yeah, as they're, as they're cutting back and forth through the conversation. Yeah. And every time you've got back and forth, it's a different animal. Yeah. Yeah. It is funny. And you know, they did it on purpose. It's not trying to be like, Oh, like, oh, that's. Right. And then, you know, they're, he's, as he's, they're talking is like, I've been four years as a head coach and we haven't won one game, you know, of every sport. So they're like, obviously, you know, you need to go into some other rocky, right.
Right. Right. But yes, sport export is his life. So then they see it. Then they see the cheetah and john and coach Archer says, look, Milo to cheetah, the fastest animal in the world. And their tour guide, who I cannot remember his name, we just said it earlier in the. Mover says not as fast as nanu. And they're both like, what's a nanu? And then here comes Jan Michael Vincent and his loin clock running.
And then, and he's running pretty fast, but then they super pose him in front of the cheetah running and he runs past the cheetah. And then it is, I mean, it is 70s campy, Disney campy, it is what, but it's, whatever, it's this. I mean, this is what we're led to believe, right? This is. It's funny. I don't know what else to say. It was right. Right. Right. It's kind of funny because they like every, every kind of objection I have, well, because I've never seen that when we were watching it, we're out of a dream. Like, well, but this isn't right. They would go back and explain like why it happened. Right.
And that's, that's where we're talking really about the racists and I was like, why is it a white guy in Africa? And then they say, Oh, his parents were missionaries and then they were died when he was young and he was adopted by the, the tribe here and he was raised here. Right. Yeah. He has a, he has an Asian tiger as a pet and they explained that. And then, I mean, it's like every little thing that I can. Every little thing. Yeah. Every little thing. And I really expected it to be like when I picked this and remember this, I really did. I thought there were going to be some cringe worthy racist and there really isn't. They really forward thinking for. Yeah. I mean, I said that during the, we were watching.
I said, this is really progressive because, yeah, I'll lead her on with what he gets his life saved. Yeah. It wasn't yet near as deep and resounding as blazing saddles, but it had a lot of that. Yeah. It had a lot of that. The witch doctor was the smartest guy there. Yeah. So then they said, no, then we cut, then it cuts it. If you guys remember, it cuts into another montage now, because now Archer is dreaming of this, of Nanu playing sports.
He's on the tree. He's going to, like, whatever fruit. He's going to see him play basketball. Yeah. And right before that he's running through the forest and dodging the trees and he sees them playing like half back dodging the tacklers. And he throws a spear and he sees him throwing you baseball. And he's running over like downed trees and he sees them run the hurdles. Yeah, it's, I mean, it's just really is a moving montages, isn't it? Yeah, it really is.
So then, yeah, then, and then, so then he's archers, co-tardchers trying to talk to him and he climbs up the tree. Remember, and then this is where they really, like, are laying the groundwork like, this is supposed to be Tarzan, but we can't say Tarzan, for whatever reason, we're not going to call him Tarzan. Like this is an updated version of Tarzan. He's Nanu. He's not Tarzan, because they even make a throwaway reference later with Jane. Right. Again, laughed out loud about. Right. Yeah. So, yeah, he climbs up the tree and then Nanu swings the levi into the next tree and then archer, coach Archer follows him, blah, blah, blah. He's trying to convince him, hey, you need to come back to the States with you, you need to come back to the States with me.
And he's like, no, I have everything I need here to live in this great life and why would I want to come back. Oh, yeah. Right. And, you know, so that's, yeah, they mentioned, that's where they mentioned that he's the son of the missionaries, blah, blah, blah. You know, again, they explain who I was a white kid there, essentially, you know, like, why it's not some crazy 70s casting racism, you know, it's just, which I don't, it's still it's weird, but whatever, they at least acknowledged it.
They just, they just fight anyway. Yeah. I'm trying to think what happens. Oh, so, oh, so then we hit another month. I said, oh, no, what happens next is they figure out. At some point, they figure out, I can't remember how they do it. They figure out that in the tribal law, if one man saves another man's life, the man who saved his life has to stay with the other person forever. Like they just backwards. Right. It is backwards. Yeah, it's a plot device. It is backwards. So, and I can't remember. Oh, I remember. That's right. Remember he, we were talking about.
His character figures it out, doesn't he? He does. What happens is, remember, he's in the tree with Nanu, he leaves his hat. And I think Amanda said it was like, Oh, when she's in fact, his hat. And they sent two guys to go to his hat. And he's like, why did you send two guys? He's like, Oh, I only set the one, but the other guy is, is, you know, beholden to him because he saved his life. So he has, and that's when he, that's, so then they, they. And he's like, Oh, thanks. And I know. Right. They stole the idea. So yeah, so then they, so then they, so then, of course, coach Archer, touches the plan with, with Milo that they're going to get Nanu to save Coach Archer's life.
So then he has to come back to the States and become the world's greatest athlete. Next montage now, we do have our next montage. We have lots of attempts where the coach tries to get Nanu to save his life. And of course, there's laps. And what we have, which is an underlying theme in the, on our movies, sometimes we have our first part of the montage is quicksand. Right. That's the thing that we all thought would be a huge problem when we got older. That's why you see we grew up in this movie.
Three movies now with quicksand. So quicksand comes back and then the whole plan there is, and this is, you know, it's funny. It's like they're talking him in a. Archer, a coach Archer and Milo are talking and he's like, Hi Milo, you go in the trees and I'm going to, you tell me when Nanu's coming and I'll step in the quicksand the whole save my life and all that. And the whole time he's talking to him. Of course Milo is standing, Tim, probably standing in the quicksand and just slowly, going down then.
And he's like, no, that's not the plan below. Yeah. So there's that one. You're not supposed to be the one sinking. Yeah. Right. And then they do a fake drowning where John Amos character he gets, he gets rescued by a native woman. And then he gets all upset. He gets all worried because the now the woman is the woman's got to follow him and that's what they say. Oh no, the, the rules don't apply to the women like they do to the men. It's just men. If I'm only for man save your life. And that's him commonly says, right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was going in the opposite direction that I expected that with the rest statement. Yeah. Yeah.
And then the, they do the animal pit. That's where we meet. This is where we meet Henry the tiger. Who is a man already said is, is explained away that he was brought over from India. Because tigers are not native to Africa brought over by Nanu's parents when he was a cub and he's a house pet, but he falls into the pit with, with coach Archer and coach Archer, of course, is freaking out. Yeah, understandably so. And then Nanu comes over and he's all worried. And of course, he's worried about Henry, not Archer. So he gets Henry out and first and then.
Yeah. So there's that one. Go ahead and say it right here. The tiger is one of my favorite characters. Yes. The tiger is for you. And then the last one that actually works is he pretends to be sick. And then that's when Nanu takes him to the medicine doctor. Gazinga. And that's where we meet Dr. Gazinga who's another main character in this and he starts to take some first Archer once. Just what he really wants is Nanu to go to town and get him some aspirin. But instead, he takes him to the medicine doctor, which again, there's another montage for them to get to the medicine doctor of them.
That's right. Forever away. Right. Right. They're running through the forest and they're running through like the savannah, then they're up on the cliff. So I mean, like this film is nothing or this movie is nothing but montages. Yeah. So. And this gets to the doctor. And they do the Salem witch trial here, the tribal justice. He's got two guys that the witch doctor, Dr. Gazinga has two guys. And he's like, one of them's innocent and one of them's guilty. They're going to drink this potion, essentially.
And then it'll tell us whoever dies is guilty and whoever lives is innocent. And then they both keel over. And it's like. And then, of course, they're like, I guess both were guilty. That's the whole joke. But then he later explains that they're going to be sick for a while. The person who is really innocent will come to an ask him for help or something like that I can. They're not actually dead. It's again, it's like, yeah, it's going to go into this whole like kind of a racist witch doctor, dark Africa kind of thing. Turns out that he's like, yeah, that's not the way this works. Yeah, he was like, it actually is just the power of the mind. And he's like, I, you.
I mean, probably character. Kind of like in the whole like sheriff in like sheriff part. Yeah. Yeah, he is definitely like sheriff for he is a sheriff for this. Yeah. Doctor, because he is great. Yeah. So then he's. He's talking to a coach our turn. He's like, what's wrong. And then he's like, all right, I'm going to make you a potion. And he makes a potion and actually wrote down the ingredients of zebra blood, cobra milk, rhino marrow, lizards tongue. And this is the one I don't know what the fuck this is.
Is great it. Great. It's skin of high of a hibernating toad. So he had to find a toad that was sleeping like a bear for the winter. Yeah. And then just made that up. Yeah. And what is great, like he took him to like a cheese grater on his skin. Is that what? Yeah, it's on. Yeah. So then he takes that and it's still not working. And then this is where we thought this is kind of funny. I want to watch it on the second time. I don't know if you guys picked on it. But then Nanny walks in and he's like, maybe, maybe he needs white man medicine.
Maybe only white man medicine works on him because he doesn't get any better from this. Right. And I think I thought it was interesting. Here's a white guy. Saying that about John Amos, who is a who is an African American actor. I don't say. All right, well, but they kind of missed that one. I completely didn't catch that. They missed that one a little bit. They did that on purpose. Right. Yeah. You're right. They actually, they probably did. They probably did that on purpose versus saying modern medicine or Western. I mean, that's really what they were going for. But yeah, that actually, that you probably did. That was like, wow. Okay. So.
So then it is, and then Dr. Gazing is like, all right, fine. It couldn't hurt. So go get him some aspirin. So then Nannu goes to get some aspirin and guess what. Another montage. Shows him running shows him swinging on a vine for some reason shows him running again. Then he's swimming faster. The animals all over. Right. Yeah. And he's swimming faster than the two guys in the canoe. If you remember, then he runs again. And then.
And that's, and that's all intercut with. Dr. Gazing giving treatments to coach Archer, where he's like. Right. He's painting a stomach. He's hanging him upside down. And then he, he puts feathers around him. He has like the feathers. I think it's just having fun. Well, yeah, that was a part where he's painting a stomach. He's like, what is this for? He's like, so you know, so people know you're one of my patients. He was just like, he's like, I'm just screwing with you, man. And you haven't. Right. He hangs up. He hangs up upside down. And he's like, what's this for? He's like, do you feel the blood rushing to your head? And he's like, yes, I do.
Yeah. So then, of course, then Nanu gets back with the with the aspirin and as soon as he takes it, coach Archer is like, I'm cured. And then, this is the best. This was pretty good. He's like, well, thank you for saving my life. And then he's like, thank you. This guy saved my life. He's like, thank you, boy, for saving my life. And he's safe. My father is a man who saved my life. And then, and then they're like, wait a minute.
Nanu, you saved this man's life. You have to go and he's like, what? Yeah, coach Archer's like, wait, what? No, you need to take him with me? Yeah. Yeah. But then, yeah, they get on the plane and they fly away and then gazenga's like, it's good for him. Yeah, I know what they're doing. You know, it's like, we're going to go ahead. And then go ahead and see how it goes. See, that's where, that's where the Wikipedia are. The Wikipedia summary was totally fucked up. It was wrong because it was, he knew what was going on. He knew that they fooled him, but he said it would be good for him. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Again, gazenga's the smartest guy in this entire movie. Yeah, right.
Let's start calling him Sheriff Bart. Yeah, they said, yeah, they said they get on the plane and they bring Henry the tiger back with them as well. And the tigers adorable. The tiger is really good. I don't know how, like, I really don't know how they did it with the tiger because the tiger. There's a couple of shots where, you know, Jan Michael Vincent's like actively wrestling wrestling. No, that one. Yeah, there is a scene later where he's talking to Henry about Jan and Henry's jealous.
And they're wrestling. And if you go back and watch, he literally has the tiger has his head on on his throat. Like his biting and like, I don't know. He must just be a game. Yeah. I mean, they may have declawed him, but that tiger still has all of his teeth. And they're right. Oh, they are huge. There were a couple of shots. Maybe he looked a little aggravated. No, but like maybe he had then sedated someone.
But it's a dated tiger is still a tiger. Yeah, should should we refer to Nanu as Nanu exotic for now on or. And reference works now that we'll say. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So right now we're all in quarantine for COVID-19. And there is a documentary on Netflix. I'm sure everyone has seen it. Called Tire King where the main character is about this guy Joe exotic as he refers to.
I have. Have you not? We have not one. Okay. Well, that's your homework for after this. It is insane. That's the word that everybody uses. We should almost you guys just watch it and we should just have like a bonus episode. Just talk about it for this. Like it is fucking great. Like, I mean, you think you know where it's going. And then you're like three left turns later and you're like, where the fuck am I? Like, all I know is it is a Carol Baskins is a bitch. It's all I know.
And she killed her husband, but that's the tigers probably. Yeah. But yeah, it's reality TV, right? I mean, it's a it's a document. It's, you know, I mean, like they're real people. I mean, okay, but like the idiots and duck hunter. No, it's not like this is like this was filmed over like five year period. Like this is their life project. No, the whole story starts out where the guy. Oh, he may explain the filmmaker in the beginning. Like, look at this. Sorry. Sorry. We're going off on tangent here. Yeah. You're going to ruin my homework.
Yeah. Yeah. So, so then they get to the US. They got in a new there. And they brought Harry with them. And then they. So they live it. I don't. I never. They live in some. It's a boarding house. It's a boarding house with a blind crazy lady. I don't know what Miss is. And she was the house. Mrs. Peterson is her name. Yeah. She's sick from road. Yeah, she's really. Yeah. And, but they dress Harry the tiger up in a trench coat.
And the door. Right. Isn't a fedora. Is it a something like that? Not a hat, but it's a hat. No, he looks like it's a private. It's a fedora. Right. Yeah. Yeah. He looks like a P. Like my camera. Right. Yes. And so, and then she's got such bad sight. She can't tell that it's not a person. She thinks he's drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. She's like, I don't like drinkers. That's right. I forget what I am. So, yeah, that's a running gag. Right.
We'll show up and still think it's just a guy because she can't see anything. So a throwaway line while they're driving to the house. Once I throw it, but it's a plot point that we didn't touch is that Tim Conway's like, we can't get the tiger. He's being rash. So it's like, we can't get the tiger into the house. There's no pets allowed. How are we going to do this? And then it's like, well, where can we put him? He's like, how about a zoo? And he gets nano gets mad. A little bit. He gets a little anger because the next scene is where Nanu brings out the voodoo doll.
So I thought we were watching this. I thought they fucked this up as well. I thought they got this wrong because I thought Voodoo was Louisiana, and it was more Haiti. But it's not. It comes from Western after they get the geography a little wrong because Zambia's. They say East Africa, but I really think it's more southern, but if you're looking at, yeah, Southeast, but I'm not going to, but they say West. So, but as Voodoo came from the traditions came from West Africa.
And then, yeah, we're, you know, built up in Louisiana during time. Yeah. It was possible that cause I know was born and raised there and moved to show. No, they got it. Right. So then this is, I thought this is one of the best scenes is when. So what did it, it's a. Like, Nanu coach Arthur sitting in the bed, and he's looking at the doll and he's like, what's, who's the doll? So he's like, I dressed him as, as coach Jackson, Milo, Jim Conway.
And he's like, he's like, you can't be. This is the modern world. You can't be believing this. And he's moving the doll around and, of course, in the background, Tim Conway is doing all this stuff. And then he tries to walk out of the room and he just gets floated back to the other side of the room. And he's like flipping, doing like flips in the air. Oh my God, as a kid, you'd probably be laughing. I was like, I thought it was funny that I thought it was good too. I was like, because Conway does that. And I don't know how they're doing it. I was looking. I can't figure out how they did it. Yeah, it was pretty good. Yeah.
Pretty good wires like, but he doesn't look like, but he's wherever the harness he has on, they're doing it. And he's like, he's doing his little like, like looking like, hey, you see this and he tries to pick up. He takes the lamp shade off to like uses a bullhorn and like yell at him, you know, the one top. Yeah. And it's, I thought it was, I mean, I laughed. I thought that was good. And it's, I mean, it's cheesy and stupid, but it works. But yeah, it works. It doesn't. Yeah. So then now it's time for Jane.
That's right. They do. Well, they decide that, and they address this too, because I'm thinking like, they're bringing him back to play in a college. They're just going to let him be an athlete. He barely speaks English. Who knows if he reads and writes. And they're like, Oh, no, no, it's great. We'll get him enrolled and we'll get him a tutor. Yeah. James, James, and James could be the tutor. She's like, I don't think I could tutor someone in five subjects and then she sees him sexy, Nanu walks in. Jan Michael. Yeah.
And he locks eyes. And then they introduce each other. This is where they do the line. And he's like. Me and you Jane. And then Tim Conway under his breath says, that doesn't sound right. That's the thing is they say me and you're like, Oh, good Lord. But then they address it. They give it. Yeah, they're like, no, no. And again, I laughed. I can admit it. It was funny. Yeah, no, this is of, I mean, I think I told you recently I've watched like, it's a mad mad mad world and also the great race. And this is, it's just of those like, yes, they're like, you know the tropes.
But, I mean, but they, they covered like they address them. They, they know they're in it too. Like they're not. Yeah, it's not night court where they say it and they just expect you to laugh. They know it's stupid. Like, yeah. So. Oh, we got another. So that happens and they decide. We have a training montage. And now we have a training montage.
Yeah. That's the first one. He's like, so he's never done the pole vault. They're inside in the gym. And yeah, I mean, I don't need to describe everything. Like, that was funny. But what got me was it was when Tim, it goes, it looks like he broke the indoor and outdoor. Oh, my God. I was like, wow. Oh, my God. Oh, God. It's just so. That was good. Yeah, because I mean, somebody who's never done the pole vault would just bust your ass.
Yeah, they would hurt themselves or that they wouldn't get the pole down right. But no, he just breaks every record. Yeah. So boom right up right from the drop breaks every record. He was like, what is he does all kinds of stuff. So the next, the next thing that's kind of cheesy. He does the track. He does the track breaks. But the other people don't go off of starting block because Henry is laying in the lanes for that. So we were like, yeah, whatever. Then he does the field goal example on the football field where you're kicking, they're all the way down to one end.
And they're supposed to be kicking and he accidentally kicks at the wrong way and makes the field goal. So it's like a 80 yard field goal. Yeah. And they're impressed by that. And then. Basketball. Yeah, they do basketball where he's guarding the in bounce pass. And the guy throws over his head. And then he's so fast. He runs down and steals it. And then at half court just shoots the ball and makes it. So he's great at basketball. Right. And then it's baseball. The baseball is kind of funny. He hits and he, you know, they throw it. He's a bat and he hits it. And they're like, run, run.
And he goes, he goes out and tackles the pitcher, which I thought. Yeah. Which honestly made it makes baseball interesting. No, but there again, they address it because coach Archer and coach Jackson. And they're like, I think we're giving them too much to handle it once. They're like, we're overloading them. So they're like, let's back off. Yeah. Yeah. So that's the another. That's the next montage of him dead training. So now it's a Jane is tutoring him. We're back to Jane and then, and this is where they have the biology lesson.
Right. And then, then they go for a walk, right? Yeah, go for a walk later. That's a little later. Just the first lesson. Right. But he is, it is very like, yeah, he's like a new like when Jane talked biology, you know, he does like the whole, yeah, Tarzan, it gets a little, she talks about muscles. But yeah, it's a little crunchy. It's a little, but it was, you know, there's a romantic aspect, but it's G rated romance. But today, there would have been as we did, there would have been a joke about little men who's paying attention to, or something like that.
I think I think I made that joke during the project. There would have been a walk, Jan. So it wasn't. Right. And then I think the next thing is when that's the next thing we talked about, we were talking already were a nannies back in his room and Harry's in there. Yeah. Yeah. And, and they wrestle and he's like Harry's jealous of Jane, blah, blah, blah, which actually kind of sets up that one of the scenes coming up. So I won't get. Tiger. I don't care if that, I don't know. Yeah, he wrestles with the tiger. Literally, like you, like you would wrestle with your dog. Yeah, he, like, you know, and tigers paws are like the size of your head.
Right. And he's also 600 pounds or whatever. Yeah, he's not so big animals. Yeah. Right. It was impressive. Again, the tiger is the best. So then they cut to now they're doing a football practice scene, which is just, you know, nannies. It's funny that. Yeah, we never see him. He just he just came to snap. Yeah, I see like a bunch of catching. Right. Yeah, I feel like I feel like they realized that Jan Michael Vincent couldn't throw a football at all. So they're like, yeah.
He didn't know like Jan Michael Vincent only did the swimming scenes that he had a stunt double for every other sport. Oh, really? He didn't do the pole vault through the skylight. I thought for sure that was. I feel like he did that in my heart. He was running. He did the running scenes. Yeah. But I mean, the actual. Like baseball and everything. He didn't. Yeah. Yeah, there's a brass. There's a brass fact. All right. I'm going to give him my Brad fact about.
Hold on. I want to hold on. I want to know her name, though, before I go ahead and the one thing that I remembered incorrectly from this movie and we'll go into it is most of his performing actually comes out of track me later on. I seem to have recalled him like actually playing these sports like playing football, especially football. Her name is Dale Hatton. I don't really remember the like him playing baseball or any, but I could have.
But it's like it's a lot. It's a lot like Greece, right? Where Danny Zuko does all this stuff and then next the really what he does is track and field, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Just like that was the first thing that came into my head. Like Greece. How would Greece stole this whole whole bit from them with the whole. Because he think about Danny Zuko does all this. He does. He does baseball. He does rest like they do a montage and then that's a good montage.
I mean, I hate to digress on some of it. That's a good montage. I do. I do. I know nobody really. I thought this is where I read my essence. Yeah. I love. I love when Danny Zuko plays baseball and they call him out and he takes the catcher's mask and pops it back. Yeah. Is it the catcher's the umpire? Isn't it? Yeah. I remember which one it is, but yeah, whoever it is. It's the same. Same with it. It's still hilarious. Yeah, it is funny.
Okay. So what was her name? You said the actor? Dale. Dale Hatton. Okay. So she, this is her first movie. Okay. She looks really young. Yeah. She was like Miss Montreal or something like that. But she Disney loved her. They had all these plans Disney Corporation had all these plans. They were going to have all these movies. And then she posed in Playboy. Oh, and then she ended up doing. And then she ended up doing a bunch of like.
I won't say. I don't know. Probably what we would. We thought we referred to early. Probably like Skinnamax type films. And that was a lot of her career. Yeah. Yep. That's, but Disney had this. Apparently they, they like were thought she was fantastic and had all these plans for her. And then she wouldn't. I mean, she had to do it. Okay. Like, she ended up. I don't know. She owned a company later in life. And she did fine. But yeah, that was, I thought that was interesting that she. So Brock, how am I going to start our laptops for Dale Hatton images and all of his report a graphic and all of my head shots.
All I did was Dale Hannon. Playboy. There you go. Yeah. She definitely posed nude. So here's, here's another scene I think where they're making fun of themselves. Right. And the typical people in love slow motion running through the field towards each other scene. Right. That was great. I thought this is great too. So it's that new and Jane running towards each other. And then, and this is probably the first time this ever happened out. We, everybody was, everybody probably listened has seen this before.
But this might be the first. He runs right by Jane and right to Harry the tiger and they roll around and frock in the book and the. And she's like, you want to bench later and the tigers. Yeah, that's right. They're looking each other sitting on the bench and the tigers in between them. They're feeding pigeons. It's funny because, you know, I remember they're running towards each other and both Amanda and I are like, Oh, this is cheesy. And I think it was you, Brad, you're like, he's going to run to the tiger.
And it was funny. I think I remembered that twice. But I mean, yeah, it was funny how watching this. There were things that came back like as they were happening as they were happening. Yeah. A few seconds before it happened. I'm like, wait a minute. I can't remember one. I don't have to go back and listen. Yeah, one of the ones who was like, Oh, wait, holy shit. I think. Yeah, because I think I said, I think they dressed the tiger up as a person. I think I remember saying that like when the tiger showed up and it was like, I think they dress them up and take them back and they're like, wait, what? That's like, no, I'm for sure he gets dressed. Yeah. Yep. Yep. So.
And then it shows them hanging out the next thing they're hanging out in the boat with with the tiger in the boat, like a little canoe or rowboat, right, hanging out. And that's where they make the statement. They can, uh, can tire swim or in or Harry, they say something like Harry hates water. He can't swim. So they jump in the water, which is, this is one thing they got wrong because tigers love to swim. Yeah. Yeah, whatever, you know, I mean, we'll let this one slide, I guess. Because what faces like spying on them at this point. Right. Yes.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's his name? Leopold Maxwell. Yes. He's playing. Right. And this is where the whole just drop that in there. We should explain that. He's the voice of brainy. He actually was the voice of brainy Smurf in the Smurfs. And if you watch this movie, he looks like brainy. I'm pretty sure that they base brainy Smurfs appearance off this guy's actual appearance. He just looks and told him just to talk, just. Yeah. You don't need to. You're not doing a voice.
And this is, this is what actually starts like the second plot. I don't know. This is the, I don't even know the movie term for, but antagonist, he decides that you stealing my girlfriend. I need to get him out of here. Exactly. So this is where the hatred starts and he's like, yeah, I need to. Yeah. So now we cut to Howard Cosell. And they're doing a member. They're doing the TV interview of coach Archer. And they're talking about how Nanu and how he's going to enter the NCAA track and field championship.
Right. What? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a good component in the background. He's trying to. Yeah, he's creeping into the shot. Yeah, that's pretty good. And then at the end of the interview, he's like, what's the first thing you're going to do? And he's like, I'm going to hire a new assistant coach. Yeah. That was pretty good. Yeah. That was good. But before we go to the actual. We're not, we're not there. We're not. So this is when Leopold is watching the broadcast of this. And then they, they go to, as I say, East Africa to talk to Dr.
Gazzenga Gazzenga. And this is where Leopold realizes. Wait a minute. I figured out a way I can get Nanu out of here because Gazzenga is like, I just want my grandson to be fine. I hope he's doing okay. So then he calls up the medical college at the, at the university and says, Hey, you need your next, your next speaker should be Dr. Gazzenga. So then they, they decide to fly him in. Yeah. This is great.
That seems another example of Dr. Gazzenga smarter than anybody else in the room. Right. Yeah. I've got that. Yeah, I could do that. That is kind of talked down to him. Yeah. Right. But before, yeah. And for all that happens, though, they do. They have another couple of throwaway scenes with Harry and Mr. Mrs. Peterson, the one who runs the boarding house where she's just to reinforce the fact that she can't see. And she thinks Harry's a real person. The Tigers are real. Like, I don't know. That's, that's, that's just like throw away. I don't know what that really is. I think that's a pad.
It's a kid's movie. So that's all that is. Right. Yeah, I guess the lady who runs the boarding house never really factors into the plot in any huge way. She's just there. She doesn't really save the day at any point. No, she's part of the tiger joke. She's just right. She's left. That's all she is. Yeah. So now you're right now, man. Well, there's the scene where Jane, this is where Jane and a man who go on the walk and. Oh, and then Nanu learns how to kiss. Yeah.
But then we looked at when we were talking about like another thing. Yes. And then we looked up and. They're like African nations evidently. They, a lot of them don't use kissing as physical affection. Where this is on Wikipedia. We looked this up. Are we sure about this? You keep going to look at it. I don't want to offend anyone. It's just what we think. We're not sure. This is what we found. What we found. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's just that it's like anything. We assume that because that's what we do for something that everybody does. Yeah. But apparently.
We're cultures in Africa. We're kissing is not a fact. Maybe it's used for something else like a greeting. I don't know. It's not a perfection. So when Nanu says, Oh, what is kissing? You're like, Oh, yeah, you're from Africa. You're backwards. But it may truly be that where he lived, it just wasn't a thing. All right. There's a. Africa dot com. There's a lot of stories and one of them. Sorry, Brad. No, okay. I'm listening.
This is out of 168 culture studied worldwide, only 77 kiss romantically. And out of 31 culture studied in Africa, only four. And it's because that's a major way to pass. Bacteria and viruses back and forth. Could really know. Do you think they really do that? The point is, go for a joke. Well, I don't know. I feel like the point is, is that the idea of kissing being foreign isn't ridiculous.
Yeah. Whether they did. I don't know, but with some of the other stuff in this movie, I feel like they may have actually done. I know. So that leads up to this. That leads up to the Dr. Gazinga scene where he shows how dumb white people really are, which is probably this is his. Sheriff Bart moment. Right. This is where he, he kidnapped himself, essentially. And, you know. Yeah. Well, the part where they're like, you don't look like a witch doctor and he puts the bone. That's the furthest.
He puts the bone in for the photo and he's like, it's good for the sciences. He's like, you know. And then. So then he played a cringe moment and it never comes. It never comes. No, he is tomorrow because then he, in the next, the next scene, he's in some like, you know, they're having some with a bunch of white epidemic. Right. And the head of neurology, I think is who he talks to next and the guy's like, so tell me about your research you're doing in the, in the jungle.
And he's like, well, I'm very close. I'm very close to finite cure for the common cold. And the guy's like, really, that sounds interesting. It's like, yes, one of your major pharmaceutical companies is offering me $20,000. He's like, well, that's great. He goes, yes, to be quiet. You know, yeah. Sorry. I mean, you know, this was 46 years ago. Right. So it was already a thing. Yeah. Well, then there's another, the other one that made me laugh was great. Yeah. I mean, it's like, it's like, it's really all in the mind.
No, no, no, the one I was thinking of where he was like, he's like, how are you doing? He's like, well, we're building a bunch of facilities to bring in more doctors. He's like, Oh, that's great. You're building a bunch of hospitals. He's like, no, no, we're building golf courses. Again, again, they got it right. Like that's, you know, like that. And then there's, yeah, there is the thing where the one that is kind of weird is where the guy, the alumni is deaf, but he thinks he can't walk and makes them walk.
That one kind of throw it, but that's what those two were like, yeah. But no, it was the, it was before that where he's like, you know, do you really perform magic? And he's like, no, it's just the power of the mind. It's understanding how people think. And that's not a joke. I mean, there's, yeah. Oh, I know. But he's he's a smartest guy. He's just more advanced in thinking than you think, you know, this is which doctor from Africa, you know, like, no, he's actually like, he knows what he's doing. Right. So, all right. So the next scene is the, uh, some braille bar scene, which is.
So they end up, they're at the NCAA championships, which are offsite somewhere. And they're hanging out at the hotel bar. And, um, and doctor, because Zinga comes in and he finds. He's looking for Nanu, right? He's looking for Nanu, but he finds coach, he finds Milo, the assistant coach, and he's like, where is he? And he's like, I'm not gonna tell you. I'm not gonna tell you. He's like, I don't want to get rough with you. And he's like, hold on. And then he's like, and then he performed some, uh, which doctor magic on him, which he says, this is where he also again.
He's like, this is all in your mind. And he has him hold for two candles. And then he transformed Milo are into only three inches tall. This is what he said, like this is the weird, like this part, but he says it's all in his mind. This is the weirdest part in the whole movie. Yeah, this is, this is weird, but it's funny. It's funny. I think it's still funny. So, yeah, the props that Disney made for those were really expensive, like a big part of the budget for this movie went into the props for this guy into the props for this.
Five minute scene, really? I guess, yeah, I mean, it looked like, I mean, it looked real. It was an only five minutes. It felt like it was like 10 or 15. I think it was only. Well, it's intercut with. It is intercut with when Nanu finds out that coach Archer lied to him to get him to come over. So, there is that scene. He has to get out of the cocktail glass. And then he has to get out of the purse. And I feel like each one of those with several. And then there's a phone. So, yeah, he has to, yeah. So, the music, I love the music during the scene. I don't know what it is. I got to find it, but it's great.
So, yeah, eventually, yeah, he gets dropped into the woman's drink and then he gets out of that. And then he climbs over her ashtray where cigarettes burning. He warms up and dries off real quick. And then he jumps off the seat, falls into her purse, then he stuck in her purse. And I just had to write down what was in her purse because it was crazy. So, if you look real closely, she's got a power bill in her purse. And so the woman's name is Amanda Stewart. And it looks like it looks like she lives in Canton, Ohio, based on her return address. And she's a power bill.
Yeah, she's there for a wedding. So, no, she's, she's leaving to go to Hawaii. So, yeah, her daughters getting married to a man she's never met. How can you believe that she's a school teacher? I mean, I remember all this. Yeah. None of this is important to the movie. No, no, no, it's not. I just thought it's fine. So, in this, so you have to imagine they just built this, as Brock said earlier, Amanda said, they built this prop and there's this huge room or room with these huge things.
There's the letter, which is a huge letter, right? It's bigger than Tom Tim Conway's little three install. There's a spool thread with a needle. There's a comb and as well as a brush. There's a pack of cigarettes. There's some keys hanging up. There's a thing of lipstick. There's a compact. There's a camera. There's hairpins and scissors all in this purse. That purse cost no tampons. That purse cost $15,000 to build in 1973. Holy shit. Wow. I mean, I guess it was worth it. It's a pretty good scene. I mean, it looks, it looks, it looks really good. They didn't like, it didn't look cheesy. They didn't try to like.
Superimpose him on top of like, like this, like, they, they, yeah, they built it. He is interacting with all these objects and they're, you know, legit. So, I mean, he said that $1,000 in today's money. That's nothing for a fucking for Disney back to Disney. Like they are today. Come on. That's nothing. They fucking spent that, you know, taking a. Julie Andrews. That's a, that's a lunch, you know, whatever, Mary Poppin. What was her name? I got it right. Julie Andrews, right? What's her name? Andrews Andrews Andrews. Sorry. Sorry.
All the Mary Poppin fans out there that I just don't send us any emails. We got it right. Yeah. So, yes, we're going to get emailed to people who are listening. So maybe we'll get some emails. The telephone costs $45,000 in today's dollars. Just the telephone. It was a road. It's a road. I mean, it actually had rotor. I did like that when Miss Amanda Stewart is paying her bill. And I think you said this on the, when we're listening to it or watching the event that her drink was only a dollar and a quarter.
Right. I was like, I like this. What is that? What is that in today's prices? Oh, yeah, let's do that in a quarter. Yeah. That's without a tip. Seven bucks. That's a, that's a, that's a good drink. And she was a mixed drink. It was a hot. Yeah, that's a good tip. So, yeah, he gets out of the purse. He falls down. He gets the phone and he gets to call. Yeah. I invest their best is to keep cutting into this drunk, drunk guy at the bar, who is like, he's Disney drunk. He is the.
He might as well. He might as well. He's one drunk. He looks like the drunk store from all the, you know, Warner Brothers, Warner Brothers stuff. How dry. You know, you see that like that kind of. And just like the whole point of this is it's making it so. Milo can't warn the coach that Gazenga is looking for none. Right. But they run into, they already ran into one another upstairs. That's the why. Yeah.
It's just so, I mean, I get why they did it. It's just funny. It's a kids movie and that's really funny. It's just. I don't know. This is so much cost and film time just to keep them from making a phone call. But you get him Conway is comedic genius. I guess. Every bit of that is Tim Conway. It was probably his contract. Right. I need 10 minutes of me being funny time and just me. I think they probably were like, we got him for a reason. Get him 10 minutes. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
It was probably like we're going to build this shit and he's going to make it worth it. What you do? I think it's a good. I mean, I think it's fine. I think it holds up. So Brock didn't have to add the drum sound there. I could just do it myself. So. You know, then he gets out. And during that whole scene, like I said, it's intercut back and forth. First coach Archer and Gesenga have a talk and then coach Archer talks to Nanu and then he finds out that he was tricked.
Well, he comes clean. Not Milo. Archer kind of comes clean. He does come clean. But he basically misstates and then he has to come clean. He does come clean. And then Nanu runs off. So then they decide they have to go find him. And luckily their hotel is right next to the zoo, which is where Nanu took all his clothes off, except for his loincloth. I guess he wore his underwear. I remember what exhibit he was sitting in at that. Well, he's sitting in some exhibit when they find him.
Do you guys remember what it was? Remember, it's just an exhibit. I don't know if there's even anything in it. So then the whole spiel is, he's like, why do you want me to do this? It's like, could you be the greatest? He's like, well, if it's that important that you would lie about it. Nanu's like, if it's that important, you lie about it. I don't want anything to do with it. And then he gives the whole spiel about Jim Thorpe, the African American athlete who tried to do this one time to compete in every event in a track field event.
Yeah, and didn't make it, which is not true. I looked that up. I did a little research on Jim Thorpe. And I think what they're alluding to is the decaf, so in the 1912 Olympics, Jim Thorpe ran in the Patathlon, which is five events, and the decathlon, which is 10. He won four of the five events in the Patathlon, and then was in the top, he won, I think, three or four of the decathlon and placed in the top four and all the events, and has the most points ever for anyone.
And then the Patathlon in Olympic history. But unfortunately, his records have been wiped from the Olympics because he played minor league or professional semi professional baseball in Rocky Mountain, North Carolina, like two years before that. And then there wasn't an amateur. He wasn't an amateur. Yeah, he was the real sticklers for him. Yeah. So, but he, yeah, so I mean, they said that the whole speech speech that the coach gives them is that you could be the first one to do this be the winner.
And I think they mean win every event. And I really, so I guess what he's really doing is running into Catholic, why they just didn't say decathlon in this movie instead of the whole track and field event. I don't know why they decided to, because that's all he's because if you count the events he does, it's about 10 right he does the disc. He does the, this is pole vault long jump shot put open hundred open for javelin. He does like the 1500 yeah I mean, when he does a hurdle. Yeah, so it's, it's the decathlon is what he's doing.
But they, why they decided to call it something. Right. Well, when they, they show the outside of the place where they're all staying and says welcome NCAA athletes. I don't know if it would say that, you know, but that's okay. So then they decide they're like, all right, he's not going to be, he's like, I'm not going to do it. And they're like, all right, they leave. And then also then it comes running back. He's like, I'll do it. And he's like, or he comes back and he's like, why did Jim Thorpe fail. What went wrong. He's what he asked him. He's like, he didn't have me as a coach is what coach Archer says. And then he's like, okay, okay. And then then he was on board. He's like, I'll do it. So then we cut to the 50th NCAA track and field championships with Howard co cell.
He's going on as the announcer and he's sidekick buzzer is the his, his, his co host, who he never lets he, this is this is a great bit. And he got me every time he every time he'll Howard co cell is making fun of himself, because he sits there and does his little speed and then he's asked his co announcer question and then right before he goes to answer as he starts to he just cuts him off and keeps going with his own. Great. It didn't get old either. He didn't get old now. So, evidently that's something he did. I don't know. No, that it was a trope like it became something more. It's kind of like the, like, John Madden with the boom, like, you know, he didn't do that all the time, but like, like, it was kind of like
everybody, it got, you know, greater than it was kind of thing. Yeah. So, but it was. Yeah. So then they cut to like the college is competing in the track and field event. And it's. Do you guys remember the colleges? Villanova. That's one. You ever see a Southern California. Yeah. Maryville University of Texas El Paso. Oh, good call Brock. Yes. Is that right? Yeah. You tell me one more. Well, hold on. Wait, let me think. They actually, no, no, no, Brigham Young. I don't know which is sadder that I wrote them down or that you guys remember them off the cuff.
I think it's pretty sad that I could remember those. The more the more one got me. That was memorable. I don't know why I remember Texas El Paso. I remember USC because the actual track coach of USC was asked to be in the movie and he was like, sure. Cause that's the thing. Yeah, you, USC makes sense because they probably filmed it like right. Yeah. Yeah. And I, Maryville is supposed to be helping. Yeah. The U-TEP, I think it's, uh, Phil Nova is a little weird too, I think. You have to. Was in the film, went there. Yeah. Right. You put U-TEP in or I'm not making this. Yeah. I'm making.
So then, all right. So then, yeah. So it's the time for the track and they're introducing all the teams and it's like, you know, 15 people, 20 people in each team and then it's just Nanu standing there for Maryville. It was kind of funny and all the teams look at him like what? Yeah, like. Yeah. Yeah. And then, uh, yeah. So. So then they cut to Jane and, uh, Harry are in the stands watching Harry's dressed up in his, uh, trench coat and, and top hat or not top hat, but it's. Yeah. Yeah. So, so then then we had the first event, which was the, I think it was the 100 yard dash.
Yeah, it had to be, no, it was. It makes the world record. Right. Eight years. Yeah, which we had to look up and the same bolt runs it in like nine point something. Nine point five eight is the world record. Yeah. That is insane. Right. Same time. Right. So then the next they did, they did the next thing they do the hurdles, which he wins, even after stopping to pick up the guy, and then coming back from behind. Yeah, again. And then, and then coach Archer as the throwaway line of who taught him how to be a good sport.
So this whole time also. Leopold is sitting in the, in the stands with, uh, Dr. Gazingo. And, uh, he's constantly in his ear, like, look at what they're doing to him. They're making him into, you know, they're, you need to stop him. You need to help, and he's trying to be like, he's like, he is my God son. I don't want him to do badly. I don't want to, but then he just. Yeah. It's a very human moment, actually. Right. And then he decides. All right. I'm going to use my, my voodoo powers to stop him from doing as well in this stuff.
And then, uh, well, first, uh, he does the one long jump where he falls back and they're like, it would have been good, but you fell back. And then they're like. So he's going to do a second long jump. And this is where the voodoo starts. And, uh, which is a pretty good scene. He does the long jump. And then he pulls him, like, all the way back, like 10 yards, which I thought was kind of. Yeah, using the voodoo at all. And he's like. Yeah, the pole vault thing. Well, the javelin goes.
Okay. The javelin, he throws its negative 10 feet. Right. And then we have a montage. We have a failure montage of a, and this one's a little weird because it's like, it's like three images superimposed or two images superimposed on each other because it's. He's doing his head as he's doing this stuff. And then it's that new doing all the events, right, where he does the shot put in the ball just floats up in the air. It drops down.
And then he does the pole vault and the whole vault has ED. And the disc just worries up like in the quicksand. Right. He spins around and just goes straight into the ground. Yeah. Yeah, total looney tunes moment. Right. Yeah, it's a little and then, and then it's the next one's the race. I think it's like the 1500. Or the 1600. I guess it would be back then running, but he can't move. He's like running in place. Yeah, he starts running in place. And that's when.
Well, why all that's going on Milo and coach Archer trying to find him in the stands. They've realized that he's in the stands. And because Zinga's in the stands, they're trying to find him, right? And then with, yeah, they're trying to find him. They can't find him. And then. Right. And then. That's when all of a sudden, you know, Milo has that other voodoo doll that he found in the when he was being the voodoo doll. He had picked it up at some point. I guess I can't remember. So he has the other voodoo doll. He dressed this is up as Dr. Good thing. And then.
Throws it over shoulder. Well, no, he's trying to tell coach Archer. Hey, listen, I've got to do it all. We could just and he was like, get that out. And he throws it in the lands of the water bucket. And then that's when good Zinga gets shot out of the stands into the pool, which is right behind the stands, apparently. Which is, I mean, very fortunate for him, right? Yeah. And again, it's over. I mean, the voodoo in this movie is over the top and ridiculous, but it's funny. It's slapstick. Yeah. Right. So now it's time for.
It's the final. It's their final push to win all the events. Right. They realize. Run that open 16, right? Oh, yeah, he does. He starts running. He does win that. Yeah, he wins that 16. And as he's winning that, as he's winning, as he's in the lead of that, that's when. The coach comes up to him and he's like, Hey, listen, just keep running. We've got this figured out. Apparently, there's some time limit to the way the Catholic on works. So he can, if you can get all the other events in in time and want to run the 400, which is the last race. I think it's the 400. Yeah, because they say the four or they say the 440. That's what they actually say.
Which is weird. That's a relay. Okay. Doesn't matter. I mean, so then, yeah. So then he, he wins the race. He runs. He rushes right over does the high job. Then from the while he's doing the high job, he gets thrown the javelin. He runs over throws the javelin and then he gets carried over to the, the discus next, then one of the coolest scenes, I think in the movie, which they actually had to do because it's not special. Where they had the pole vault lay in there and John Amos kicks it up into the air and and as he's running down the pole vault.
So if it catches it and then does the pole vault. Right. I mean, they actually, I wonder how many takes it took them to get that to where he caught it because it's a, I mean, it's a pretty good I watch I backed up. That's real. So he does that. Does it diss does all, then he, and then he's doing the high jump as the 440 starting the other way. Does the high jump and all the whole time the announcer's now said he's broke the world or the NCAA record for this.
Like he breaks all the records for all these events. And then he has to go and do the high, do the catch up on the 440 because he's behind. And then it's weird because then Harriet roars and then he gets up and he wins. And then he, yeah, he gets a second wind and runs down the and runs and then tiger power. Yeah. And the one funny scene is that I think in the analysis because Howard Howard for cells going crazy is now and buzzer his, his co or co announcer picks up the trash can and throws it on his head.
Because then he comes in and despite everything he's happy because he's happy. No. Yeah. Not some just won all this stuff. So he's he's like made out to be the bad guy and a little bit of it but he's really not the bad guy. Well, he says something. He says something at the end where he's like it's, you know, it's good for him to have failure. Right. But then also you get the scene where Leopold runs out on the track and the target. Yeah, Harry chasing them down. Good thing I'm not running against him. I would have lost, you know, kind of.
It's just, it's silly, but right. And then you, and then we have the moment at the end or towards the end here where a nannoo sitting there looking all the paper newspaper clippings of how he's a champion and all this and he's like, he's talking to Harry he's like I don't get it. Like, just because I'm better at other person than this sport why why what makes. Well, I guess I get my picture and paper other than him what makes me so special he doesn't get it. He doesn't understand the importance. Right. Like they're all good. Yeah. Why is it only important that I'm better right now. Right. He doesn't understand the importance of winning.
Why, or why winning is important. He doesn't, he does has no idea, which is, I mean, kind of. Actually, it's a good. It was a good message for the day. Yeah, it wasn't some. Oh, he was the best he wanted. They ended it. They were like, no, he doesn't understand either. He just wants to be happy. So he tells. He calls up coach and then he's a. He's like, hey, I'm go back to Africa. - He was gonna do one of them. - Yeah, they wanted to go to the other one. - They wanted to do that. I don't need to do that. So he goes back to Africa with Jane. - Yeah. - Yeah.
- And then the end of the movie. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. Before we just back with Jane, remember they tried to talk about, that's their whole excuse. Like you can go and go back, Jane loves you. And then of course, Jane's there. But it is a kick-ass parking job they do in that, in that fucking area. - Oh, we're already doing something. - They do a reverse, like, parallel park. - That was a good, that was a really good song. - Yeah, that was a good song, yeah, I like that. - But I don't really, I can appreciate that now, but as a kid, I was like, yeah, whatever. They got to the airport. - Yeah, but so when they're running to the car,
they're trying to figure out all these excuses. And he's running through them. And he's like, he can't go back, 'cause nobody, and co-structures throws us away. He goes back to the gazinga's not a bad guy. He's a good, he's like, we'll tell him that no one back at home loves America. He goes, no, we can't say that, 'cause gazinga was crying and really happy that he won. Like, they throw that in, like, another explanation of, yeah, they just cover all their, like, this, yeah. - It really did, yeah. - It really, I mean, like, all the things I thought were gonna be, like, this really, I mean, so yeah.
So then they go, the hairy goes to Africa. I mean, I'm sorry, not hairy. Well, hairy does, like, but they, yeah, Jane, and then who go, and then, like, once again, we're back to co-charger and just wants to get away. So he gets on far. - I love what they're in the airport. I just have to get away, and so they just jump on a plane to China. - They jump on a plane to China, and they're sitting there having coffee out in front of the Great Wall. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Tea, Brad, they're in China. - They're having, or they're probably having tea.
You're right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're right. You're absolutely right. God, no. - You're culturally insane. - All right, all right, all right, you know, we have to scrap it, scrap it, we have to redo this whole fucking podcast 'cause I fucked it up. - We'll cut that off. - We'll cut that out and hook production, yeah. - Oh, Jesus. Hold on, let me, just count it off. I'm just gonna say tea. count it off. I'll just say tea. One. - Three, two, one, go. - Tea. All right, now you got it. All right. - You got it. (laughing) - They're sitting there, and they see this pony running,
and co-charts are just like looking how fast that pony is, and then here comes, you know, wise Chinese man says, not as fast as Chang Yang. - Chang Yang. - Chang Yang, Chang Yang, Chang Yang, Chang Yang. And then he's like, what's a Chang Yang? And then, and then here comes Chang Yang running by, superimposed over the pony running by. And then they chase him, and then they chase him off into the sunset, and that's the end of the movie.
- Yeah, they said they weren't gonna do it anymore, but Chang Yang picked it up, and they gotta go. - I wish they had a sequel, Chang Yang. - I think it was called Mortal Kombat, wasn't it? (laughing) - It's in the whole world's greatest athlete, cinematic universe. - What was it? - Yeah, I'm pretty sure, yeah. - It was not a bad movie. - I liked it. I admit it. I thought it was a lot of fun to watch. - I don't know. - It was a place, Brad, you know, it was it the second time.
- I still like it, of all the ones we've done so far, this is the one for me, it holds up. I would watch it, I would recommend watching it, if you never see it, it's a great-- - It's a good, it's, I mean-- - It's a great, it's a simple, it's, you know, just put it on. - It is, right it. - Right, it's not trying to be anything, it's an hour and 30 minutes, it's not, yeah. It's entertaining, it's, yes, it's cheesy. Yes, the special, using air quotes here, special effects are bad, but they kind of admit, they kind of already played into that. They know that, and it's just--
- There's, there's-- - It's a Disney movie, it's just-- - Put your face, you know, you do the face poem and go like, oh God, I can't believe they put that in the movie, there's none of that. - No, nothing. - They had no rapey scale, there was no rape. There were no jugs. - No jugs, no child sacrifice. - There was quicksand and kissing. - There's quicksand, yeah. It is a, it's a solid 10 on the quicksand scale, I mean, he goes all the way down, I mean, yeah, so. - You mentioned too many scales, I mean, he start writing these down. - I just--
- You got them all in. - I got them. - God. - No, I mean, I definitely enjoyed it. I definitely enjoyed it, I definitely, I was really, like we said in the beginning of this one, I was really surprised, I thought this was going to be a cringe-worthy 70s racist, like, you know, just not that was gonna be-- - Ultraly incense. - Right, not that they were going to be rape, but it just wasn't, it really wasn't gonna hold up to the top, but they, I mean, at least from art,
I mean, they explained it all way. - Disney is a very progressive company in a lot of ways, and I mean, they seem to have been that through this movie in some ways. - At least they were during this, yeah. - Yeah, at least in this particular movie. Now, we may, we may watch another movie from 1973 and be like, oh my God, but it's not this movie. - Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure the term witch doctor and some other stuff, I'm sure those don't necessarily hold, like, that's not the proper vernacular, no, sure, I get that. But as far as what it could have been
and what I thought it was gonna be with a white guy from Africa, I mean, yeah, I mean, we first started watching it, I was like, I said, why would they put a white person to play, or white actor to play the part of the African athlete when they're, it's not like they didn't have any African-American actors, isn't it? - They already had John Amos as the head coach. Why would they pick and then they explained it away, which I, you know, I was very happy. - Yeah, yeah.
- So I would definitely, if you can, yeah, it's on, you can find it on iTunes and you can rent it for three bucks on Amazon Prime and yeah. - Yeah, that's what we did. It's worth, I mean, like, if you're gonna sit around with your kids and you need a good-- - It's a rain, well, we're all quarantined now. - Exactly. - So let's say one day we're not quarantined, it's a rainy Sunday afternoon movie. - Yeah. - Or your kids, or, you know, if you-- (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, and honestly, if you got, I mean, like kids, if you've got kids that are like, I don't know,
like anywhere five to whatever, it's easy movie, put it on. You can put it on, you don't have to watch it, they don't watch it, you probably will like it if you did, but you don't have to, you don't have to worry about it being anything weird. The worst, like, sexual thing is two people kiss and they, you know, that's it. There's nothing else, there's no other, so yeah. - There's no violence. - Well, okay, the guy's dying from the poison. - Well, and he-- - But they say they don't die, so yeah. - He tackles the pitcher during the baseball scene. - Yeah, and they don't really die, that's true.
- They never really die. - So, all right, well, I think that's this one of the cadence. - I think we're good, so. - I think we need just the social media stuff real quick to show people wanna help. - You guys do that because I can't ever remember it. I do the beginning part, so you guys do the end. (laughing) - Well, we're on Twitter at, oh God. Brad, you do it, I can, my brain-- - No, you went for it, I was like, all right, you remember, I can't remember, it does hold or hold does.
- Hold does. - We're really good at this, by the way. - Oh my God. - It's, hold on, it's at hold does. - Yes. - H-O-L-D-O-E-S, so, yeah, at hold does on Twitter. We're on Facebook, you just search for, does it hold up? We're on, obviously the podcast, if you're listening to this. And if you are listening to us on iTunes,
I appreciate reviews and ratings. But I would like it more, we got our first review today and somebody just gave us a one star review. - No comments. - Yeah, so, you know, don't fucking take, whatever. If you're gonna take the time to put a one star, then tell us why we're a one star. Otherwise, fuck off, like don't put a three. You know what, I don't want your fucking-- - You don't want your life. - Right, yeah, I don't want your fucking one star asshole review. That's the, I mean, most passive aggressive thing you can fucking do on.
Like you took the time to, and it's not easy, I tried to figure out how to put a rate somewhere on a podcast, and there's a, like you have to sort, like you can't just go straight from the list, you're like, you're menu, you have to figure out. So yeah, there's persons. - Is there any way to find that person? - No, no, I can't figure that out. - To find out, it's like, I don't know, my mother or something. (laughing) - It's our sister, yeah, our sister did it. (laughing) - Thanks for that one, Jesus. - Yeah, thanks. - Yeah, so, no, she didn't do that.
We're kidding. - But in all seriousness, yeah, I mean, we appreciate the reviews, but-- - Yeah, like, let's say, listen, if you take the time, I figure you like it, I mean, well, you know, we'd like the five stars. - If you don't like it? - Then just, yeah, move on. There's no reason to, yeah, you really have to be a special kind of asshole, not like it, and then figure out how to review us one star. Sorry. (laughing) - So, all right, so that's Twitter, that's obviously iTunes and Spotify, and what's more on Facebook, right?
- Yeah, Facebook. - And we're not on Instagram, so fuck off, yeah. (laughing) - Well, neither am I, so-- - Well, let me put pictures out. (laughing) - We'll just put pictures of our tweets. (laughing) Just to piss people off that you can't click on, 'cause that's the worst when someone does that, and you're like, oh, I'm gonna click on it, and you can't get over to it 'cause it's just a fucking-- - I have a link in the tweet and you can't click it, yeah. (laughing) - All right.
Well, that's it for this week. I guess next week, we've gotta find one that's a doozy. - Oh, I have one, that one. - We've got a bunch in there. We've got a bunch lined up everybody, so don't worry about it. - All right. - All right. - Thank you, everybody. - All right. - Bye. - Bye.